Writing one's own biography...

Has been my singularly most difficult challenge, more so than overcoming my fear of exposing my written work to the public eye.

I have been writing, revising and second-guessing every aspect of my bio for more than a year. When I got started on my seemingly easy task (write a synopsis describing yourself; no more than three paragraphs) all I had to go on was "write in the third person."

I know it's the industry standard, but I think it's stupid. A writer. With a bio. Written in the third person. You KNOW that more than likely they wrote it themselves. Here's the catch-22: NOT writing it in the third person is a BIG HUGE CARDINAL NO-NO. Pfft.

Biographies are as variegated as the carbon-based populous of this planet (yes, including non-humans). Advice from respected colleagues and peers contradicted what I saw when I went on to writers' websites. Write in the first person - no, write in the third person. Write a short bio/long bio/multi-lingual bio...

I can write well enough in Spanish but won't attempt to commit my thoughts to print in my very rusty Portuguese. Here's the thing - how the hell do I get all those accented thingies and the upside-down punctuation marks without using MS Word? Shrug.

My head was such a tangle with information overload and self-abnegation that I just stepped away from it. I was finally able to commit something to print yesterday, after countless revisions, comparisons, and "oh no that's just not right, try this" pieces of advice. 

My bio is short, sweet, and chock full of both personal and professional information. It's not so specific that it alienates, not so formal that it reads like an obit, and not so casual that it makes me look like a buffoon. I hope.